DeLay's Great Escape

Fifteen ways to escape a barrage ethical scandals!

TOM DELAY'S BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS:
1) Blame the Democrats
2) Accuse the 'liberal media' of twisting facts, but never present examples
3) Call prosecutor investigating you a partisan hack, even though that same prosecutor has prosecuted Democrats in the past.
4) Respond to questions by saying democrat's have no agenda other than partisanship
5) Refer to all the investigations against you as a "mammoth operation" funded by Democratic supporters designed to destroy you
6) Jump on a faux Right-to-Life issue in Florida, hoping to divert all attention away from your infractions
7) Attack "Activist Judges" just for the hell of it, again in a sad attempt to distract people from the real issue at hand
8) Rewrite rules in the House ethics committee so they won't be able to investigate your wrong doings
9) Replace two members of the House ethics committee with two more favorable congressmen who will not allow an investigation of you
10) Hope and pray Matt Drudge will make up stories about Democrats doing unethical things
11) Bully & intimidate members of your own party who dare scrutinize your ethical lapses
12) File a "contempt of Congress" complaint against the congressman calling for an investigation into your ethics
13) File another "contempt of Congress" complaint against a citizen's group who helped open the ethics investigation
14) Accuse anyone who has problems with your ethics as being Un-American
15) Have your party change long-standing Congressional rules just so you can stay in power during these investigations