Thursday, April 14, 2005

Rush Limbaugh, pro-cat?

Check out Rush's little rant about Wisconsin's cat hunting and see if you can figure it out?
I think he's-

- Pro cat, but I'm not really sure.
- I love how he throws in some liberal digs, complaining about the protection of endangered species (for some reason, the raunchy right is obsessed with this Snail Darter fish)
- I have to assume these "hunters" are gun lovers, which I then have to assume are conservatives. Could this be the first documented case of Rushy basing a righty? He doesn't actually say it, but I think we all see it. Welcome to the dark-side, Rush!
- He says that his cat likes to kill lizards, it's his instinct. That's cool. If I go beat the shit out of Rush Limbaugh, I can say it's instinct, right?
- At the end, our chubby one compared cats to women; If we want to understand women, go get a bunch of cats. Great advice coming from a man three-times divorced. Can I assume that Rush wishes women were more like dogs, obedient bitches that lick our feet and sniff our crotches?

Millions of people tune into this guy and this is what they get? Nice.

RUSH LIMBAUGH'S TRANSCRIPT:
Have you heard what they're doing up in Wisconsin? Killing cats! "Feline lovers holding pictures of cats, clutching stuffed animals and wearing whiskers are facing off against hunters at meetings around Wisconsin to voice their opinion on whether to legalize cat hunting. Residents in 72 counties were asked whether free-roaming cats [feral cats] ? including any domestic cat that isn't under the owner's direct control or any cat without a collar ? should be listed as an unprotected species. If listed as so, the cats could be hunted.... La Crosse firefighter Mark Smith, 48, helped spearhead the cat-hunting proposal. He wants Wisconsin to declare free-roaming wild cats an unprotected species, just like skunks or gophers. Anyone with a small-game license could shoot the cats at will." Now, we can't go out and kill a kangaroo rat. We can't go out and kill an Arkansas Fat Ass. We can't go out and kill a snail darter. We can put down people's homes; we can stop their construction projects. We cannot allow people to use their backyards if they want if there's a little water in it if there's a wetland, but here a bunch of people want to go out and start shooting cats up in Wisconsin. Cats are killing birds? What do you think cats do? Cats kill wild birds! I have a cat. You ought to see what my cat does when a bird flies by! My cat tries to jump through the glass window to get it. It's call instinct.

I have little lizard geckos. You have where I live we have these little geckos; sometimes they get in the house. A cat sees it, the lizard's dead. You know, I keep thinking "Animal rights for the lizard!" The cat doesn't know what that is. The cat's just acting on instinct. So the cat's killing the birds, so now they want to go out and kill the cats. Okay, right! So we want to alter human nature because we don't like what we see. It's up to the birds to figure out: stay away from the cats. Or it's up for you people to keep your cats in the house. What are you doing letting help me outside anyway? Cats are not like dogs; they don't come back when you call them. They're like women. "Come here, sweetie." The best way to learn about women, folks, is to get a bunch of cats in your house. If you want to find out about women real fast, go get a bunch of cats. But, I mean, this is just incredible here. Go out and shoot cats here because they're killing the birds? Who are the birds killing? Birds are killing something! Birds are killing worms. We need worms. We need everything out there! The balance of nature. Nobody can kill a snail darter, though! Nobody can kill a kangaroo rat. Nobody can kill some ugly-looking weird seven-legged insect that may be found roaming around Arkansas if it happens to be doing so in three-quarters of an inch of water out some poor slob's backyard because that's a "wetland." But we can kill cats! Or they want to up in Wisconsin.

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